bizarro news roundup

So on Wednesday, New Jersey's Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples are entitled to the same rights as heterosexual couples, and gave the Legislature 180 days to figure this out legally (either "marriage" or civil unions). The Bush response: “Yesterday in New Jersey, we had another activist court issue a ruling that raises doubts about the institution of marriage."

Call me crazy, but WTF is so activist about giving people equal rights? The judges didn't say they had to be able to get married, just that couples were entitled to equal rights. Now it's up to the elected fools to put that into the law, however they feel best represents their constitutents.

For the record, Slate's Dahlia Lithwick agrees with me: "If you care at all about states' rights and state autonomy, read this decision. If you believe in judicial minimalism, read this decision. If you think judges should engage in careful scrutiny of state law, read this decision before blasting it as activism. This was a state court taking care of state business. Memo to Karl Rove: Those who oppose this decision aren't opposed to judicial activism. They are opposed to judges."

President Bush, opposed to judges? Yep, that sounds about right.

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A Muslim cleric in Australia, Sheik Taj Din al-Hilali, said, on the topic of "adultery": "If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it..whose fault is it - the cats or the uncovered meat? The uncovered meat is the problem... If she was in her room, in her home, in her hijab (veil), no problem would have occurred." The paper says he called women "weapons" used by Satan to control men, and implied that victims of gang rape have only themselves to blame: There were women, he said, who 'sway suggestively' and wore make-up and immodest dress "and then you get a judge without mercy and gives you 65 years. But the problem, but the problem all began with who?" he said, referring to the women victims.

People in the country are now calling for him to be deported for inciting violence. I'd rather people just mock his ridiculousness. I'd be more offended, actually, if I were a man: how dare he take away their agency! How dare he imply that men, who control a good portion of the world, are equivalent to starving cats smelling meat! Men can't help themselves--they need mercy from the courts to understand that women are responsible for their violent, repulsive acts! Men have no control over their lustful instincts! Men are just penises with arms and legs, and it's the responsibility of women to avoid tempting them!

Well shit, I guess it's only the generosity and humility of women that keeps them from taking advantage of this overwhelming sexual power to take over the world.

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In other news:

The commissioner of internal revenue has ordered the IRS to delay notifying and collecting back taxes from victims of Hurricane Katrina until after the November elections and, oh yeah, the holidays too.

and

Donald Rumsfeld's response to detractors of the Iraq war has started approaching chill out: "You ought to just back off, take a look at it, relax, understand that it's complicated, it's difficult." Yeah man, you're killing my buzz!