blame it on the rain. yeah. yeah.

i've just survived an infuriating MTA experience.

it's been pouring down rain all day. i went into the 96th street station already wet from puddle-jumping across broadway, water squishing between my toes and everything. as i was saying goodbye to dania and francis i saw that the 5-train was leaving the uptown 2/3 platform, and i figured i'd catch the next one. mistake number one.

i walked down toward the end of the platform, as usual, and as i expected the platform was relatively empty. i stole a pillar to lean on, opened my book, and read. a 1-train passed. another 1-train passed. i checked my watch. another 1-train passed. i read another story. a fourth 1-train passed. at this point i'd been waiting about half an hour for the uptown express. i was getting out at the next stop.

the station attendant came on the pa and announced something about the uptown express, which no one understood because he was speaking so softly and the pa system is absolute crap. people looked at each other, puzzled. he came on again, speaking more loudly and clearly this time, but i only caught about half of it. he was "strongly urging" people to take the uptown local train if possible. something about bowling green and there being delays on the express line. a couple minutes later he announced that there was no uptown express service and passengers should cross to the downtown side, take the local to 42nd street, take the shuttle to the 4/5/6 on the east side, and take that uptown. a woman, probably already slightly unbalanced, started screaming at the top of her lungs, shouting obscenities and ridiculousness all the way from the end of the platform to the exit at the front. i resigned myself to taking the 1 uptown to 110th street and catching the m4 crosstown.

of course, since all the 1-trains had passed clustered together, i had to wait another 15 minutes for the next train. it was packed. two stops later, i hopped off and walked up the stairs. i checked my wallet and, only having one dollar, took my place under the awning around the corner to wait for the bus. i thought about walking the block to the bank and getting enough cash for a cab, but decided it was too rainy and cold and the bus would be along any minute anyway. mistake number two.

i waited. and waited. and waited. i was cold and wet and the wind was making me really very cranky. i was surrounded by people who really weren't the brightest bulbs in the box, and who felt the need to vocalize every non-thought that went through their heads. all the while, as we waited, we could see buses running down broadway, torturing us by pausing at the light and then refusing to turn left onto 110th. i must've seen 20 buses run down broadway. three m4 buses passed us in the opposite direction, going west/north. one bus passed us reading "not in service." it was still pouring.

i checked the time again and found i'd been waiting for the bus for 45 minutes. it was getting on midnight, and i'm pretty certain the m4 doesn't run past midnight. i decided to call 311 figuring they'd have up-to-date transit information. actually, all they're good for is looking up things on the internet. the clever operator i talked to actually read me 2 minutes' worth of the mta contact information webpage before i could stop him. the only thing he could do was transfer me to the mta's automated information number. the message had been recorded much earlier in the day, and it said that all buses and trains were running on schedule except for necessary track work.

uh huh.

i tried talking to the station attendant at 110th street, but that was no use. he confirmed that the express was still out of service, because of flooding. until then, i'd been sticking to my public transit plan, first out of convenience, then out of investment, and then just on fucking principle. without the bus, there was no way for people to get across manhattan above 100th street. no train, no shuttle to replace the train, no bus. nothing. just your little legs and your umbrella, if you're lucky enough to have one. downtown there are always alternatives. and when the train fails on the upper west side, you'd better believe the shuttles start running immediately. i was disgusted.

i stood on the corner fuming for about half a minute before i said fuckit and gave up. i went to the bank, caught a cab, and was home within 10 minutes, only $7 poorer.

and another hour and half of my life needlessly given to the ungrateful MTA. if only it would cuddle with me afterwards, just for a minute.